I met my partner Sarah in high school and we have been together ever since. We will be celebrating out 14 year anniversary this year.
In 2006 we decided that we wanted to start a family. I hoped to be a mom by 30 and it almost happened.
We had talked about having a family for a long time but we really started to look in to the process and speak to the doctor about what we needed to do. It was around April or May of 2006 that we did our first insemination. We repeated this process for about 6 months before we decided that it was enough and that we needed to try some other method.
Those six months were the hardest six months that we had to go through. Trying to get pregnant can be very taxing on your psyche. It is an emotional roller coaster and I knew that I didn’t want to go through all of the tests and pills etc…
In December we spoke to the doctor about adoption and she recommended some agencies. We also did some research on the internet and found Adoptions from the Heart. We found that they are local and have an agency in Greensburg. We called and got an appointment to meet the Social Workers and to learn about the different programs that they offer. We went to our first meeting on January 19, 2007. This was for the International program and we sat and heard and thought about it but we decided that it would be too difficult for us as a gay couple to adopt from overseas and the one place that we could do it, Vietnam, is waaaayyy toooo far away (23 hours by plane, which I hate) for us to be by ourselves for 2 weeks while the paperwork goes through. We also wanted a younger baby, new born, and that would be nearly impossible from overseas.
The next week we went back out to Greensburg and heard all we needed to hear about the domestic program. We had some reservations at first about the openness of the adoption but the more we heard and thought about it the more we were like “Sign us up!!!” We hit it off with one of the social workers almost immediately and pretty much paid the opening fees within the next week.
Over the course of the next few months we got all of our paperwork together and got in the “Book”. As of May 1st we were up for auction. We got a few calls about things that we might be interested in but those fell through.
In September, we finally decided that we needed a break and so we booked a week away of camping and kayaking in Northern Virginia.
We were down there for about 36 hours and were on a river in the Shenandoah when we got the all important your baby is ready for you call. After returning the call and cancelling the rest of our reservation we hurried back to the camp site and packed all of the stuff up. Usually it takes about two hours to get all that stuff together, we packed in about 45 minutes and got back on the road.
The social worker didn’t know much, all she knew was that it was a boy and that he was 6 months old and that the situation for the placement was difficult with the father hurting the mother enough to warrant being arrested for assault.
So after packing up and finally getting on the road around 6:30, we called everyone that we knew and told them everything that we knew. This was Thursday night. We arrived home at about 3 AM, we made a wrong turn and were headed to Baltimore an hour later we realized and turned around. We knew that we had to turn around and head back to the southernmost point in Virginia, so I went to bed and Sarah got everything ready for our trip to Chesapeake.
After I woke up, we went off to the bank and got the money that we needed, stopped over to each of our parents houses to say our goodbyes and get any last minute stuff. Thankfully, Aunt Ruth went to the store for us and got some things that we needed for the trip.
We were off again. From Pittsburgh to Chesapeake is about 8 hours. What an exciting time, full of mystery and fright. We didn’t know what to expect or how our lives where going to change, but we knew that this was it and that we were going to be okay.
We arrived Friday night checked in to the hotel and got ready for the next morning. When we awoke, we were nervous as all can be. We headed over to the Agency to meet the Social Worker and then headed over to the doctor’s office to meet the Birth Mother. She arrived after we did we met in the parking lot. When we finally got settled in the office and were waiting for the appointment, BM said to me, “Would you like to hold your son?” I immediately said yes and as soon as he was in my arms I knew that he was a good fit.
Our meeting with BM started with the Doctors appointment, then off to the office to sign all of the paper work and finally we went off to lunch where we gave her a small gift and told her more about ourselves and she told us more about herself. She was is a bad state that day and was unwilling to get a picture, which was unfortunate, but we completely understood cause of the damage to her face. It was important for us to give her a great impression at first and let her know that we will be good parents. She left us with a kiss and a hug to the baby and a somber walk to the car.
We soon realized that this little guy had a lot of needs. He was a champion puker and would do it at the most in opportune times. We went off to the store as soon as all of our paperwork was done and got a few other things then off to the hotel to get to know our new son. He was so vivacious and loved to move around and jump and laugh. He loved to eat. He still loves to do these things.
We spent the next few days in southern Virginia. We were in contact with the Agency for those next few days. We were told that the social worker went to meet Josiah’s father and that he refused to sign the termination papers. We were also told that this shouldn’t be a problem and we will be okay. On Tuesday we packed up everything and headed north to Winchester, VA to wait out the next couple of days for Virginia to give us the okay to leave the state.
We found a cute little motel in Winchester. The people there were very understanding of our situation and they gave us all that we needed. We got there and had the evening to ourselves. Sarah’s mom and dad joined us down there the next day or so and they didn’t get in until late but stopped into the hotel so that they could see their new grandson. He slept through it, thank goodness!!! The next morning we woke up and immediately took Josiah into the other room and woke up the grandparents. Josiah and Grandfather clicked immediately. They looked at each other and they knew that they would be friends for life.
Over the next couple of days we had many visitors. Ruth and my dad came down to visit. Sarah’s cousins came over from Baltimore to visit. We finally got word that we could come back to Pittsburgh. What a welcome site the house was. I was so glad to be in my own room in my own bed.
Sarah had to go to work on Monday morning. That day started the beginning of the next three months that I had at home with Josiah.
